I accidentally had phone sex last night
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I need a hoe opinion
go on
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize