id be glad to
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
