Me. At least after what I've been through.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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