We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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