I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
