I need help removing her.
Please, let me fuck your mom
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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