he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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