I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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