Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
