their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
