He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
