Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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