i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
