Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize