is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
