kristin has been a bad kristin
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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