When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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