Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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