Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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