i think my tv is drunk
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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