We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
