thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
