no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
