Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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