so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
