there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
