i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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