I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
