i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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