so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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