dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
