do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
