I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
