he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
