Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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