But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
