This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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