Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
