I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
