That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
