explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
