the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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