just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
