If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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