i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
