that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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