she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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