So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
