You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
