I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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