yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
