does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
vagina is talking i cant
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
