Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
