You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
