idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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