brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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