Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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