And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
