It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
