i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
