He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
