dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
