she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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